Book Review: Girls Like Us by Rachel Lloyd

  Getting a peek inside the mind and heart of one of today’s most famous advocates for sexually exploited children is an incredible experience, and that is exactly what Rachel Lloyd offers in her powerful and wrenching memoir Girls Like Us. Her writing is utterly compelling, her stories mesmerizing, her words raw and lyrical, and her heart can be felt beating through every page. She addresses the problem of the commercial sexual exploitation of youth in New York, focusing on a different demographic than that dealt with in Trade of Innocents. The victims she discusses have not been trafficked across international borders or even necessarily kidnapped or sold into the sex industry. But as she proves, the girls she works with in New York are not that different from girls who’ve been rescued in Cambodia or Thailand, because no child has a choice in her own sexual exploitation.

  Not many people have devoted much time to delving into the psychology of sexually exploited children, but Rachel - a survivor herself - has made that her life’s work. The depth of her psychological insight can be breathtaking as she discusses the girls’ attachment to their pimps, their distrust of law enforcement, their warped ideas of love and violence, their PTSD, and their temptation to return to the world of the sex industry. Above all, she refutes the idea that sexual exploitation is a “choice” children make, showing how all children develop their perceptions of truth - no matter how distorted - from what they see around them. For example, if at a young age a girl witnesses and receives abuse from her father, it’s no wonder that she will find herself clinging to a violent and abusive pimp: in her mind, violence is inextricably bound up with love, as it is all she has ever known. This is not her fault - this is what she has been taught.


  Children and young adults who are commercially sexually exploited face a world where virtually every card is stacked against them: they usually grow up in abusive home situations without critical love and support; they are surrounded by law enforcement officials who are apathetic to their plight or, even worse, pay to exploit them just like other johns; and they are saturated in a culture that degrades women, glorifies pimps, and justifies the purchase of sex as a natural urge that men need to fill. Rachel Lloyd champions the need for love in the healing process of sexually exploited youth, recognizing that punishment and disdain will only force them deeper into “the life”. These young women need a place to belong and feel loved, and they need the tools to make their own choices and empower themselves.

  Finishing a book like this can feel both like a punch to the gut and a strong dose of hope. In heartbreaking detail, Rachel tells her own story of exploitation and introduces the reader to girls whose world is one of poverty, abuse, and sexual exploitation; but though their surroundings are dark, the light that exudes from them is astonishing. What the reader is left with at the end of this book is belief in the power of love to heal and to empower, and a sense of awe and admiration for the strength, beauty, and resilience of the survivors. Just like her organization - Girls Educational and Mentoring Services (GEMS) - declares, these young women truly are precious gems.